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Bereavement

Hearing the news of a sudden bereavement can be a traumatic and devastating event in itself and can affect people in different ways. There can be a sense that time is standing still, or that your world is spiralling out of control. 

People have described feeling as if they are in a dream, where their thoughts are fragmented and where nothing feels real, but yet they are still able to function normally.


Signs

Feelings

  • There may be numbness, anger, despair, shock, disbelief, guilt, anxiety, sometimes even relief.  One of the most powerful grief feelings can be a sense of yearning or missing, even feeling guilty for carrying on living
  • All these feelings are normal in grief but can be overwhelming and often difficult to put into words
  • There is often a sense of disbelief which can carry on for many months and many people describe having a sense of the presence of their loved one, which is usually a great comfort, but which can, for some, be unsettling

Behaviours

  • Typical grief related behaviours can include restless pacing and searching behaviours, forgetfulness, loss of concentration, and loss of confidence
  • People in the throes of grief may lose interest entirely in the things they normally enjoy, and may begin to neglect their own health, their relationships with those around them
  • Many people struggle with sleep, often finding it difficult to settle or finding themselves waking early. Some people may want to avoid all company, while others don’t want to be alone


Physical manifestations

  • In the case of a sudden death the physical effects of stress and anxiety-related symptoms can be profound. Nightmares or disturbed dreams can be common, as can intrusive images or flashbacks, often leading to weight changes and tiredness which interfere with our ability to care for ourselves.
  • Also frequent are typical anxiety symptoms, such as stomach churning, heart racing, shaking and being hypersensitive to noise.  Sometimes people worry about developing similar symptoms to the person who has died. Often physical ill health can be a symptom of grief.
  • All of these feelings, thoughts, sensations and behaviours are normal.  It’s important to recognise that you need to take care and look after yourself more than you would normally.

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