Although each family has its own individual hang-ups, there are common issues that many families face. It may feel like our family situations are unique, but in most cases, millions of families around the world are dealing with the same problems. While they may seem overwhelming to solve, with enough knowledge and dedication, most problems can be worked through.
Distance
Because of work or other reasons, can be a strain on an otherwise healthy relationship. And if you have kids, it can be challenging to be away from them for an extended period of time, especially if you have to travel often.
If you cannot change the frequency or length of your time away, there are other things you can do to decrease the distance between you and your family. For example, you can do a nightly video chat, play online games together, or sync up movies to watch together. In the digital age, there are many solutions to make distance easier to manage.
Problems with distance arise not only from having too much distance, but also from not having enough distance. The media perpetuates the myth that if two people love each other, they can happily spend every minute of their time together. While this fantasy might play out well in the first months of dating, any serious relationship needs space. This problem is not limited to time spent with your significant other. Parents, especially stay-at-home parents, can also feel cooped up after too much time with their kids.
The solution? Get out of the house or carve out some alone time. Try to involve yourself in fun and exciting hobbies and passions that you can do on your own.
A cluttered Schedule
As a parent, it may seem as if you have no time. Your schedule may be cluttered with work, chores, and your children’s events, leaving little time for the things you want to do.
One solution is to use a calendar or a daily schedule system. This way you can prioritise what matters most. You can also try to make an agreement with neighbours or friends to watch each other’s kids once a week. This is a win win situation with all involved get a weekly date night.
Arguments & Fights
Disagreements are normal. After all, we all have our own opinions. However, when healthy communication falters and discussions increasingly become arguments, a solution must be found.
Weather with your spouse all your children, arguments can seriously raise tensions in the family. Depending on the severity of the disagreement, they can even permanently damage relationships. Therefore, it is critical to handle arguments with care, not allowing heightened emotions to get the better of you. Instead, focus on the problem at hand and ask yourself “why does this person believe what they believe?” if you can find a way to understand the other person, you can create a foundation to build upon.
If the argument has turned into a fight and anyone is feeling overwhelmed, call a time out and return to the conversation later. Arguments don't have to be a bad thing - they are natural after all. And they can be perfectly manageable if everyone tries their hardest to be respectful and come to some sort of consensus.
Disagreements on Parenting
If you have been apparent for more than one day, you will most likely have disagreed with your partner on some respect of parenting. Disagreements on parenting styles are bound to happen, and they are unavoidable part of having a family. But like any argument, disagreements on parenting can be aided by a calm and reasonable approach
To handle disputes on parenting more than in most other areas of disagreements, it is vital that you and your partner learn to compromise. Your child should be raised with both of your values in mind, and not by the values held by only one parent.
Work Life Balance
Work is a high priority in the lives of many parents, as it is for most adults. The tension between needing to provide financially for one's family and wanting to be there for them physically and emotionally can result in an uneven work life balance.
A few solutions but to leave work at work and focus on your family when you are at home. Make sure to set time aside for the things that matter most to you and your family, delegate tasks to others to save you time, and do not forget about “you time”. With a more balanced work life schedule, you can finally have time to better focus on your family.
Money Problems
A significant stressor in many family’s lives, financial troubles can add significant tension to any household. Money problems can be dealt with in various ways, including a change in the way we look at money and material possessions. In some situations, families may benefit from setting a budget and making money management apriority.
Few general tips for better money management or to create a zero-based budget, cut out unnecessary purchases, and to keep at least few months expenses in a liquid form of savings. In terms of changing your perspective on money, it is helpful to look up money as a means to get the goods and services you want, not as an end in itself.
As the things you may accumulate may not provide much happiness as you think, one way to make some quick cash and free up your space as well is to sell unnecessary belongings the family has accumulated. Financial problems can test relationships, but if you are open to creative problem solving together you will get through them.
Unfaithfulness
Infidelity is, unfortunately, one of the main reasons for divorce. It is a challenging problem to solve within a marriage, let alone a family. When a partner cheats you may wonder how a marriage can be put back together, or if it is worth to continue.
Prevention is the best solution to unfaithfulness, meaning that both partners commit to and nurture the relationship sufficiently. Once infidelity has occurred, however, it is generally wise to get professional support in the form of couples counselling.
Difficult Children
From the toddlers going through the terrible twos to the trying nature of teens, raising children can be challenging, and at times you may feel your last nerve has been tried. Just know that why you cannot control your children’s every action, you can control how you teach them to deal with decisions and behaviours.
You can set positive example with how you choose to react to your own frustrations. With younger children, who may display volatile emotional states and tantrums, a good balance of patience and firmness are key.
When it comes to older children, acting out may mean they just want to be heard. So, rather than moving straight to punishment, try to listen to what your adolescent has to say. This can be difficult, especially when you know your child is not using their best judgement. But the best way for a child to learn is through thinking through important decisions with a mature adult. And you never know, you might just learn something from them as well.
